Hospital admission (still ongoing :-( and tribunal update (mmm - will my ex employer ever grow up???)

Hi All,

Well I was hoping to have been writing this from home by now but no such luck I'm afraid. Well, I came in to have my routine operation - the operation itself went fine. The general anaesthetic messed my chest about a little bit so I ended up on the ICU. I was on the ICU from the Wednesday through to the Friday evening where i still wasn't too great to be honest. The nurse on the ward wasn't happy with how i was from the moment she had handover and called the doctors to take a quick peek in on me.

This triggered my early warnings score to be high which increased the observations the nurses did, the more they checked them the worse my score got etc etc and then by midnight I was back under the radar of ICU again. I had a visit from a blogging buddy of mine KSD towards the beginning of the evening when things were very much not at their best and she stayed the night holding my hand and keeping me calm through the evening - even though misses wasn't well herself - Yes misses you know you weren't right (looks at KSD in a judgeful way but also very, very grateful of the company- and very sad you ended up captured post visiting me) :-(

On the Saturday one of the support workers was washing me when I got so breathless and wheezy it stopped in her tracks and she went to check my observations, they were a little low and high in all the wrong areas, so i was told to rest and given a neb! It helped a bit - then the docs were there again (the docs that visit you in PJ's - its never a good start when you see these guys as it never really boads well!!) Thankfully after yet more I'm OK really I'm oak's - they did think I was OK lol!!!

By Tuesday I was starting to wonder if i could keep people fooled much longer that i was OK, i was starting to struggle and really couldn't get why i was struggling so much, everything was pretty much the same except that i was again on oral theophylinne but it hadn't been oral that long and i didn't think It would have made much difference - yes some people had been really heavy handed with their antiperspirant sprays on this bay that am and there were also Lillis which never helps but still didn't feel there was a reason to feel quite so groggy!!!! After struggling most of the afternoon by the small hours of the morning the on call doc and ICU docs had restarted theophylinne infusion as levels were sub therapeutic run a dose of magnesium through and increased the oxygen to full 15 litres used on the wards.... I was then just waiting for a bed on the unit.

I went up to the unit for about 5 am the nurses on the ward had been great bless them and looked after me so well = the student nurse was lovely too sitting with my and holding my hand when i had ABG's (arterial blood gases) done - these are the single most horrendous blood tests ever and they hurt me so much now as i just dont have any access to vein or arteries due to them being so overused in the past. Its a nightmare!! I was on the unit they took blood and found that with the theophylinne in and now working i was able to utilise four times more oxygen - blimey - wonderdrug or what - i always said it had always worked for me and that i had always found it really helped - there was all the proof we needed!!! So after keeping a very close eye on me all of wed i was finally allowed back to my old bed space on the ward i had been on before lol- almost like I had never been away....

I settled back in well and was fine again till the theophylinne went back to an oral dose so we have been playing with dosage ever since and over the last weekend was my most recent blip where infusions and magnesium etc etc were restarted etc etc

It was all a bit soul destroying, when i was told I had a cellulitis infection from a cannula and wasn't to be given anymore venous access as i haven't been able to keep anything down for the entire admission really and have actually been sick on most days (worst being Tuesday evening and all day yesterday. I struggled all day and last night mentioned to a lovely nurse that I didn't think it was worth staying in if i wasn't doing anything that i couldn't do at home - I could still see the docs point and to be honest today i understood it a bit more (Ive got a bit more antibiotic in my system too lol!!


I tried sooo hard just to walk out of the hospital yesterday but didn't get very far at all as without the oxygen i was struggling with my breathing and with out any anti - emetic in me i was throwing up loads (not that there was even anything left to throw up!!) Gggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!

The nurse was lovely as she let me come back to the ward - hardest bit?? - Accepting that they were actually right lol!! Think part of it was the temperature to be honest as its not something I would ever, ever do - it was just quite simply that i felt i was getting more and more infection into my system and that it was making me really poorly and no one was listening!! I did though realise that even if they do burn and sting like a bug**r an intra muscular cylizine injection was required!!

Anyways saw the docs today on ward round, they looked at my last cannula site and said ouch is it sore?? (Hell yes!!!!) Its bright red and the tracking starts from there the cannula was entered in a vein on my wrist/palm of hand (yes that hurt too - i can categorically say - never ever let them do one there!!!!!!) The doc mentioned nausea (still there - only managed tiny bit of soluble pred that morning not even the hydrocortisone!! and had thrown 3 lots of antibiotics up and not managed any of the anti fungals for the systemic candida!! My usual consultant who is a real susperstar came in to see me today aswell - he knows me better than anyone and also knows what my body can and cannot take sooooo it was great to see him taking charge over my protocol for the other docs to follow!!!

I also menetioned tribunal things - i missed a deadline for the end of june as i was too poorly to contact my solicitor when i was on the ICU, I contacted them last week prior to my laptop coming into the hospital for me :-) ( no more robyou line for me - its DVD's all the way lol!!)

Last week i promised the solicitor that i would email him the specs of my case before the 17th. Again ive been upto the ICU and almost ended up there again since i spoke to him last so i am hoping that the email i have sent him today will help and that if he needs any further information tomorrrow then i will give it to him via phone or email. My employers (ex that is) feel that this further demonstrates that they are caring employers as this is what it was like for them and think that the fact i am prolonging the case by being unwell - in their veiws this shows them im being unreasonable lol - they actually stated in writing that they felt that by delaying it all made them look better as they feel they shouldnt have to accomodate my illnesses anymore hahahahahahaha!!!

Anyways guys I will be getting the laptop out tomorrow at some point to speak so my solicitor so I will write another tribunal update soon as i can and hopefully keep you all posted on how i am gettng on physiotherapy and OT wise!!!

Take care all lotsa Lv
Xxxxxxx

Sleepless nights...

Hi all,

After my marathon sleep yesterday I watched the finale of 'being human' at 9pm - which most definitely left me wanting to watch any potential new series... :-)

Anyways, after watching that and then 'family guy' I let the cat in had some cuddles and tried to go back to sleep, knowing today was going to be a particularly challenging day! I tossed and turned for about 2 hours the finally did get some zzzzz's, only to wake up at about 4am and I really couldn't get back to sleep!

I've spent the morning coughing and wheezing so far, which is not good!! I have had a few nebs which has settled things down and am debating what to eat for breakfast so I can take the all important morning dose of steroids! I have to try and calm the old lungs down before I head out to my remploy meeting later on! Got to be there at 11am but, I have to get a bus and a tram there so it is a fair old trek, its also not very warm out so I will be wrapping myself up in my hat scarf and gloves to go anywhere!

I phoned my GP up today to try and get an appointment... haha - next Tuesday - by then I will either be better or worse and in hospital!! Will see how today goes I think if I am no better I can always phone the good ladies at the community respiratory team - who are always great at helping over the phone or popping in to see how things are going! If that doesn't work I can always pop in to the surgery and ask to see a GP - though it will probably not be my regular GP - so I have options if things are worse later!!!

Soooo, I have a meeting today with remploy. This meeting is to look over my CV and interview technique (as I haven't had to use these skills in well over 4.5 years!!) and to help me write why I left my last job, mmm - that's a difficult one as I didn't leave of my own accord but through my boss being unreasonable and not allowing me to work part time but ho hum!!

I am going to chat about possibly getting some part time work (science based I hope) just to keep my knowledge up and get me back into the swing of things again as I have been off work now for just over a year due to my marathon run of admissions to hospital last year!! I cant physically deal with too many hours but feel I could do 16 a week (at least I think this is a reasonable target to aim for!!) I am not too bothered about loosing my incapacity benefit either if I can get the same level of money from working which I should be able to do if I am not working for the minimum wage!! On my previous job front -it is becoming very clear my boss had replaced me before I had my contract terminated due to the fact they are not advertising my post and have no intention of doing so in the future!! This will I hope come back to bite the evil man on his bum at the tribunal!! They still owe me nearly £6000 in agenda for change back pay and 10 weeks salary at my new rate - which I feel will be like waiting for the world to end as the trust couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery!!!

Anyway, onwards and upwards... There is a fantastic job vacancy at the children's hospital in Manchester, which I would love to go for but it would mean either commuting a long long way, or, relocating... Would also involve me having to work almost full time if not full time, which I don't actually think I can do! I am tempted however to scope out the possibilities of a part time post but will probably discuss this with remploy as they may be able to help me facilitate this. Think its either this or agency work which I could do as much or as little as I choose to do and still maintain my HPC registration which is very important as if I loose that it means doing the competency portfolio again and I don't think I could handle the stress of doing that again, seriously, once was definitely enough!!! Which speaking of which I really do have to find that folder.... mmmm!!!

Ah well peeps, I am going to have to sort myself out eat something then get myself to this interview.

Take care and speak soon
lv Rattles Xxx

work - people who dont get it!

For some time now I have been battling to keep my career. This is mainly due to a total lack of understanding by my current employer. My manager is quite continually reminding me of how much of an unreliable person I am as I am a brittle asthmatic and hates the fact I'm often unwell! My asthma is quite often made worse by stressing about the fact I cant have time off which often results in longer absences than if I took a few days off in the beginning of a problem! its all a bit unfair but I think that's the way it is for a lot of brittle asthmatics so I'm just going to have to roll with it I think. I was told today that because they cannot be sure I wont have any further time off that they may well terminate my contract of employment which has really upset me. I love my job and would do anything to keep it, I even asked if they would reduce my hours so that I could return but I think that its just not going to happen now. I am however keeping my fingers (and toes) crossed that when we do have this meeting my trade union rep and myself can sort something out!

I think the difficulty is that people don't understand the actual ins and outs of having brittle asthma or the implications and restrictions that it can often have on your life. I love to live my life go out with friends, have a dance and a drink or go for a long country walk. All things which i can do when I'm well. When I'm poorly however, it takes a lot of effort to do the slightest thing and can at times be very restrictive. I hope that I can get things back on track so that my employer does see that with reduced hours and a stool to sit on I can be back to my old self again at work!

Anyways - health wise, I'm still fighting off another chest infection but, i am doing a lot better, and even better than that Ive managed to stay out of hospital which is fab!! Its the longest Ive managed since this time last year so far as Ive been out since just before Christmas!!

I spent the day doing not much really and feel i need to get myself motivated tomorrow. I did play the piano a bit earlier and have done some much needed paperwork so at least it wasn't a totally wasted day. Ive set myself a few goals the last few days. I want to be able to walk to my local shop (only 0.3 miles) by the end of next week. It is a bit of a challenge as I'm still struggling round the house and up the stairs at the moment but its a target. It gives me something to aim for so that i can get myself back to some level of fitness again. I also want to sort out some bits and pieces in the house which have been annoying me for a while mainly tidying and sorting really, but I also want to finish painting some art work i started for my bedroom, it matches the colour scheme that my room will be when its finished - though Ive not started that properly yet!!! Think i may need to get a decorator in for that though as the paint fumes will make my asthma bad which i do not want at all!!! sooooo there are a few little things to keep me occupied for a while!

hope everyone is well and staying warm - its particularly cold outside at the moment which is never great - until it snows in which case it beautiful!!

bye for now
rattles Xx