Missing friends!

Hi All,

Saturday was a weird day for several reasons, firstly, It was the memorial service for a friend who died a few months ago. The memorial was a long way away from where I live and I havent been well for a week or so, so couldnt make it which was upsetting. I miss Emma's e-mails via AUK and her advise, her lust for life and her enthusiasm and I miss reading her blog with the trade mark - 'toodlepip' as a sign off each time! It was sad I couldnt go to her thanksgiving service.

So I lit my candle and quietly remembered Emma from my house on saturday at 2pm (the same time as the service started).

Saturday was also weird in that i had been reletively OK all week but all of a sudden in the small hours started to feel really nauseous and shaky etc. Turns out I had aminophylline toxicity!! (not at all pleasnt and definatly not an experience I care to repeat!)

I did feel rather unwell all of saturday and most of sunday but by late evening on sunday was much, much better!!

Yesterday was fairly busy, I went to my GP and she went through what had happened over the weekend etc and gave me some different antibiotics for my infection as the ones I had been put on previously caused the toxicity!!! We chatted about how things were going and I got a bit upset about things (again), I'm really frustrated at the moment with not being able to do things I used to take for granted, that and my appeal hearing at work this thursday and various other things stressing me out just made me really weepy!! I then came home to my friend who was doing some cleaning for me in preperation to do some painting in my house on saturday!! My house is the house that jack built! Everything that can go wrong invariably always does go wrong and so after several DIY disasters a few years ago - nothing has been done in the house! My room needs doing as it is the same as when I moved in almost 5 years ago and I hated it then!!! Sooooo, the time has come! It is getting sorted! As the room was cleaned and hoovered etc, the TV digital box was moved and I lost all my TV channels.... This ended with a trip to the local Tesco for a new TV/freeview combo, which as my aerial snapped in the high winds last year still didnt work so today I have had the aerial blokes round to put up a brand new digital ready aerial!! (expensive!!!)

I have also today had the varification officer from council tax benefit round to check some paperwork so that they may finally reduce my payments for council tax as at the moment most of my benefit is going on paying for these bills!!

Finally now the rest of the day is my own, Im shattered so I am going to curl up in front of my new TV and watch some TV that actually has a fab signal!! :-)

Hope you are all well. Talk soon peeps!
Lotsa Lv
Rattles Xxxx

Paperwork, Stress and Super Stroppy Lungs...

Hi All,

Well, I have not been sleeping at all well the last 10-12 days. Was hoping it was something that would just resolve by itself but it really hadn't started to resolve by this Monday after days of frustration and tears I saw a Doctor at my GP practice to ask for help!! He reluctantly prescribed a few days worth sleeping tablets..... Nothing!!! Except sheer exhaustion and possibly the meds kicked in to allow me a few snatched hours of sleep Wednesday night!!

The upshot of running myself into the ground like this is my sinus infection came back with vengence and I have the grumblings of a chest infection brewing as the old lungs are a tad crackly! I spoke to my normal GP today and got a script for some more aminophylinne tablets as I was running desparatly low - told her how I was feeling and she has given me strict orders for the weekend mmmm!!! (Joy!)

I have an appointment with her on Monday so hopefully it'll hold off till then, I'm feeling rather deflated by it all as I thought I was OK ish but splat!!!

My appeal hearing is this coming Thursday! More stress just what the doctor ordered hey??? I spent most of yesterday and all of today finalising the paperwork and organising witnesses for my hearing, which is prior to any potential tribunal!! I'm thoroughly stressed and I think these shinanigans (sp) could have contributed to my sleepless nights and subsequent health decline as it usually follows that sort of course-becomming more prone to infections the more stress I'm under (I dont really know why that is!!)!!

Part of me is scared the appeal will be successful I suppose, sounds ridiculous I know but I'm just not fit enough for work at this minute I feel poorly and run down and feel like I need to sleep for a year first!!! :-( Then part of me would be disappointed if its unsuccessful as I then have to go through the stress of a tribunal procedure!!! grrrr - cant win, but I truely dont know what I want anymore - that place caused me so much stress and now I'm out of that I'm not convinced I ever want to return to all that bullying and back-biteing again!!

Well finally on Wednesday next week I see the ENT surgeon - I have to give 2 hours for the appointment as this is hopefully gonna fix my poor broken septum!!! I perforated the septum in my nose years ago and over the last few years it has got lots worse bleeding daily and the perforation has grown - a lot!!! Dont know what can be done but hopefully at this appointment I will find out!!!


Anyways I'm off to have a neb and my tea - I am rather hungry!!!

Speak soon peeps, take care all,
lotsa lv
Rattles Xxxxx

An apology!

Hi peeps,

I am really sorry I have been a bad blogger recently, life has sort of taken over recently.

I had to go to a pathways to work interview at the job centre which was a bit of a waste of time as the woman doing the interview said I clearly wasnt well enough to go to work after a mere 5 minutes of me being there!! Apparently it is just a formality and I still have to meet up with this lady once a month for the next six months whether I am well enough to work or not.... bit frustrating but nevermind!!

I have also been battling with a chest infection for the last few weeks, its been driving me mad as just when I think the antibiotics have kicked it into touch, it comes back with more determination again!!

I also had a bit of a rough time with gossiping and rumours recently which caused a good friendship to end. I was really upset by this as the accusations were all unfounded yet it was believed by my friend who then involved a lot of other friends into it all. It was exhausting and really upset me but thankfully all the hurtful messages have stopped it has aloud me to get on with things again!

Anyways, It has been a little busy round here! I also haven't really been sleeping very well, partly because this infection is affecting my asthma and partly due to the fact that my next door neighbour has bought a puppy for her kid's. The puppy howls all night long and between that and the taking my nebuliser every two hours I'm really not getting much sleep!!

I have been continuing with the piano teaching, I really enjoy it and it has given me a sense of purpose that I felt I had lost when I lost my job!! I teach just two students - one is only 2 years old and is a real star with potential to be a fab musician as she absorbs everything I tell her, and the other an 80 year old lady who I met on the bus to town one day a few months ago!! The elderly lady is not so good - she is self taught as am I, however she cannot read music and said she plays by ear - unfortunatly she played me 6 different songs - possibly more whilst she was here and they all sounded the same!! She has said she would like to learn to read music - if I can teach her, then she would be able to play pieces by reading the music instead of relying on playing things by ear!!! She doesn't come as frequently as the young student does and probably comes once every few weeks to once a month ish!!! It makes her happy though and gets her out and about and socialising which she really enjoys!!

Next week (23rd) is my appeal hearing for work aswell, though I thoroughly expect tat the panel will reach the same decision that the original panel did - which was to terminate my contract of employement. I expect it really will have to go all the way through to tribunal before there is any form of justice from it all!!!

Anyways Im gonna go and sort out some more paperwork for the appeal hearing, but I promise I will be a better blogger and post a little bit more frequently :-)

Take care all and hope everyone is well!
Lotsa lv
Rattles Xxxx