My little task.

Hi everyone

I hope that you are all well! I am doing ok at the moment the pulmonary rehab is going well when it isn't cancelled due to the snow (which has been happening rather a lot since Christmas!) I think that maybe this mornings session will again be cancelled as I just looked out to see a lot more snow than was there on Monday and they cancelled it on Monday!

I have other things which i can entertain myself with however. I have been going back to my folks almost every weekend since my dad's dad died a few weeks ago-it was around the same time that my mum's mum died two years ago. My grandma died on my mum and dad's wedding anniversary two years ago it was a really tough few weeks lately for all of us and was made even more difficult when my only remaining grandparent my mum's father was very unwell whilst my father, brother uncle, aunt and cousin were all in wales for my other grandads funeral. My brother and his wife are my grandads live in carers and so it was left to my sister in law and my mum and aunt there to look after him whilst my brother was away as my sister in law was working shifts and also caring for my little nephew aswell as my grandad. My grandad was gradually getting more poorly from christmas. He has not fully got over a really bad chest infection which has been affecting his bronchitis and also had a general further deterioration from his parkinson's disease and alzhiemers he is becoming much more forgetful and has suffered a further deterioration in his mobility-which whilst i was away in wales resulted in him having almost a dozen falls in just a few days. He ended up at the end of the weekend not being able to stand without two people as he wasn't weight bearing at all. This was not the worst of it though as my poor sister in law ended up having to help him with his toiletting too. The result of all of this was that at the falls appointment and assessment which was held on the monday of my other grandads funeral was that he would be admitted to an assessment and rehabilitation hospital at the other side of my hometown. A place called the Arc. It has a very good reputation and in comparison to the other two places available i feel he was lucky to get in there. He does however feel like he has been put in a home i think. The minimum term is two weeks up to a maximum of six weeks. I think he will be there the full six weeks if i am perfectly honest as he hasn't made as much progress as i thought he would at this stage unfortunatly. I told my mum i would be home every weekend till i knew my grandad was okish again. I dred anything happening to him with me here so far away. I will never forgive myself for not being there when my grandma died as i was working i will not do the same thing if anything happens to my grandad after all with no work commitments at the moment i have no excuse not to be there which is a very positive thing indeed. All i need to do is inform my carers that i am going away and give them the day i need them to recommence my care again although the pets still need looking in on if im away more than one night at a time so i have been going early on a saturday and coming back late on a sunday that way i can ensure that my pets are ok for that time on their own.

The first time i went to see my grandad he seemed very confused and a bit agitated and really wasn't at all good on his feet standing was difficult for him. Its important for him to gain some mobility and for a care package of sorts to be put in place whilst he is in the arc as my brother and his little family are moving into their new home whilst he is in there-it has been planned for a while for them to move out but my grandad i think has been in total denial that this move was really happening-however it is official now. They got the keys last monday and have already started the work on their new home which we are hoping will be completed in the next few weeks.

This weekend just gone i went back to my folks again although i stopped with my aunt again as my mum and dad are decorating their bedroom which has meant they were sleeping in the room i usually sleep in and all their stuff was in the other spare rooms! Its been chaos seriously! I had a lovely time the last fortnight at my aunts though. I dont really see her and my uncle much if i am only back overnight so it was good to get the chance to have a natter and stuff with them!

I went straight to my brother and sister in laws new home this weekend and helped them to strip wallpaper off the walls in my nephews bedroom and playroom. (their house is absolutly massive! It has five downstairs rooms 7 if you include the little toilet and utility room with the outhouses aswell there are 9 as they are all linked to the house. They also have 5 bedrooms!) it is a beautiful house though the decor is not so great lol! An elderly couple lived there for a very long time before selling it to my brother and family so it has got a lot of very elderly person looking decor including a shower in the back room downstairs-a rather odd feature which is not staying lol! Anyways i digress! I spent most of the day there helping out with one thing and another before we went to see a fire festival in the town centre which was fab. We saw all of it two years ago and it was amazing then so we were desperate to see it again all of us! We took my nephew along too and i think he enjoyed it too! :-) We all then had tea at my mums house before i had to go to my aunts as i hadn't actually seen her by that time. I had an early night knowing it was going to be an early start the following day! My god daughter jumped on me bright an early to wake me up and proceeded to drag the quilt off me to prevent me going back to sleep mmm she knows me soooo well lol. She then put the lights on so that i had to get up and danced around the room till i finally said 'ok i am up now!' i briefly saw her and her brother before my cousin took my aunt and co to a car boot which left me to quickly pack my stuff up load my car and get to my brothers house. I got there at about 10am which was rather early for me lol! I was rather cuffed with myself! I helped by babysitting for my nephew we watched his waybuloo dvd a lot of times and i think on the third play through of it even i was nodding off! I glanced down to see that the little mite was indeed asleep but he promptly woke up again just as i went to put him down in his cot! So it was back to entertaining him again though he is fairly easily amused! He is a very good baby! :-) My cousin came around to take my nephew out for a while so i went back to helping my sister in law with the decorating whilst my brother went to buy doors for the upstairs of their home-seriously busy weekend lol! We managed to strip the wall paper in three rooms and clear out all the timber that needed clearing from all the rooms-my brother demolished the bathroom knocked down the wall separating the bathroom and toilet so it was one big room and smashed all the tiles! A job well done i think! :-) i left their's earlier than i would have liked to as my friend informed me it was snowing really heavily back home-i went to see my grandad who seemed tired and again rather confused but on the whole seemed a little happier.. My aunt was there too so i said goodbye to them both at the same time before going to my mum's to have a cuppa with my mum and dad before i set off home again. Mum gave me a bag of goodies as she always does she is great like that :-) and then i came back home. My mission before i go back next weekend is to come up with two or three different farmyard themes for my nephews playroom. It is to have cows sheep ducks and chickens and pigs in it and they all have to be cartoony for my nephew. Im going to do a timmy time sheep thing i think on one of the walls but i still dont really know on the others yet. Have some ideas though. I have downloaded some pictures from on line search engines etc and i am going to get the sketch pad out later today and scribble some ideas down for my brother and sister in law to pick which one they want! I will then be drawing the designs on to the walls and helping them to paint them. We hope to have the playroom and his bedroom sorted in the next couple of weeks-plasterer permitting of course!

So i have myself a little project to do! I am really excited. If there is ever anything arty to do i am the one who gets asked i love it! I have done painting for my aunty in the past for her bath board with an underwater theme and her out house with a sunny theme and trees and i also painted my god daughters headboard for her bed with all her favorite disney characters when she was younger! I like that they all think i am good enough to do these things and feel that i can do it-it makes me more determined to do a really great job of it- and hopefully it will be a playroom/bedroom that his friends will be envious of once it is all completed! I cant wait!

Anyways it is almost time for my carer to be here now and i cant believe i still haven't slept! My arm is very sore after my second swine flu jab i dont feel as unwell as i did with the first one but my arm is really very very sore touching it or moving it even slightly is really rather painful! I am hoping that it doesnt hurt for too long this time as i really need some sleep lol! I am also hoping to get a couple of sketches done today and a few errands that i have been putting off for almost a year! Here goes.....

Hope you all have a fab day whatever you are doing! Take care and speak soon.

Will scribble again soon.
Lotsa lv rattles Xxxx

A rather busy week!

Hi Everyone,

This week has been tiring and stressful. I went to Wales very early on sunday morning - I was up at 5.30am and on the road by 6am. I finally arrived in bridgend at about 10.30am having stopped at birmingham for a bit of a break as I was getting tired! I had breakfast with my brother and my dad and we had a drive to porthcawl and aa walk around tonapandy where my dad spent his early years!! It was strange hearing my dad's tales of his youth and seeing the house that he spent the early years of his life in. We then went to visit my great aunt and uncle (my grandads brother and sister in law). We stayed there for just over an hour before getting some dinner at the pub near our hotel 30 mins away. It was a late night as we met up with my uncle and aunt and cousin at the pub before settling in the hotel for the night. I finally got into bed at almost midnight after such an early start I was shattered!!

I was woken up by my brother calling my mobile and knocking on my hotel bedroom door at 8.30am and told I had 30 mins to get ready before we were meeting the rest of the family at sainsbury's for breakfast!!! My cousin and I followed all the others about 15mins late as we take a little longer to get ready lol!!!! We had breakfast and discussed what each of us had to do that day! My aunt and uncle were picking up my grandfathers partner from cardiff and my dad and brother were picking my great uncle and aunt up from the rhondda valley, my cousin and I had a couple of hours to hang around before we were to meet everyone at the RAFA club in porthcawl. We went to have a wander around the shopping village and had a costa coffee before setting the sat nav to find the RAFA club. We arrived and clled my brother to tell him that it was fairly easy to find - they were only a few mins behind us so we waited then went in together. The cars picked us up from the club and drove to pick up the hurst carrying my grandad and then followed it to the crmatorium 30 mins drive away.

It was difficult at the crematorium, my grandad's partner was very upset and the whole thing just reminded me so much of my grandma's funeral a couple of years ago. She died 2 years ago today. One of my grandad's shipmates from the war was there - the only surviving crew man of my grandfathers ship. His son gave a speach which brought a tear to my eye! Afterwards we shook peoples hands and thanked them for coming inviting them to come and celebrate my grandad's life at the RAFA club in porthcawl. A lot of people turned up which was lovely. I also met a distant reletive who was talking about our family tree and told us he had traced it back to the 1800's my brother cousin and I were very interested as we always have been interested in family tree etc but never got the chance to discuss it with our grandfather. We swopped e-mail addresses with our long lost reletive (my grandfathers cousin!!!) and I received an e-mail earlier this week with pictures of my great great grandfather and his brothers it was weird but very cool!

I drove back from wales after the wake and set off at around 6.30pm getting into sheffield at almost 10pm (I was shattered!!) Thankfully I didnt have to get up too eary on tuesday. I had pulmonary rehab on wednesday early in the morning followed by a check up with my GP in the afternoon. Then yesterday and today I was able to have a little rest which was well needed!!

I am getting on OK. I am still a little shell-shocked and it being the anniversary of my grandma's passing today i am a little sad! I miss her so much!!! Its is also my mum and dad's wedding anniversary today! Tried calling them earlier but there was no answer so maybe they have gone out for dinner or something!!! I am gonna try calling them again in a little while! I am going back to my folks tomorrow just overnight as my mum's dad is very poorly at the moment and has had to take a place for a residential rehabilitation program in the hope that this will increase his strength etc otherwise he is not going to be safe on his own at home and may need a nursing home which none of us want to do to him - he would hate it!!!!

Anyways - I will post again soon as I am back from my trip away at my folks.

Hope you are all well, take care.
lotsa lv Rattles Xxxxx

Beginnings and endings.

Hi Everyone,

This weekend was a difficult weekend for me its a month of anniversaries in february and all of them are hard, the only real blessing was my beautiful nephew's first birthday yesterday, however after a lovely day with my family I started to travel back to my house when my mum called me to tell me that my grandad had died.

This week is gonna be a tough week as I still dont really know how i feel. Im sad and upset but finding it really hard to deal with my feelings about it all. It has come really close to the 2 year anniversay of my grandma's death and when my grandma died I was devestated.

I am off to wales for the funeral at the weekend and will see my reletives and my grandad's dear friend who I am sure is finding everything very difficult. At the moment I am trying to process everything as I feel so bad for having not seen my grandad for a while as I have not been well and neither has he - the times I have been ok he has had bugs which could have made me very ill and vice versa so it has been a while since I last saw him and for this I feel very guilty and ashamed.

I will scribble again after the funeral and stuff.

Take care everyone and speak soon

lotsa lv Rattles Xxxx