First night out in ages!!!

Hi All,

Why is it that when you go out for a drink or two for the first time in a long time (and I really mean a long time) you get grief from the ones you love the most!! (my brother and his fiance - who i love to bits) think I am making up struggling to make them feel like bad parents - this isn't the case at all!!!! I genuinely felt poorly - felt I had had plenty to drink and wanted to go home - instead of us all going together as was the plan I left by myself!!! they now continue to make me feel bad about this- noone ever understands what it is like to live with brittle asthma - not even your closest relatives - I dont know why but I feel more alone surrounded by my family than I do by myself!? why is that???

Im not sure but they made me feel rubbish this evening and I think it will take me a long time to get over this!!

sorry for the rant but this weekend was supposed to be me trying to forget the last few months - its just made it more apparent that i cant be normal and that really really upsets me!!!

hope everyone else is doing ok!!
lotsa lv Rattles Xxxxxx

Dental nightmare!

Hi All,

Hope everyone is well! Its been a little crazy here over the bank holiday weekend. On Thursday i had an appointment at the dental hospital for a pre-treatment assessment. I was the first on the list in the morning so almost as soon as i got there i was called into see richard my dentist. He was lovely! He asked me to write all my medications down as there were so many :-) i wrote them all down for him and then he wanted to examine my teeth. All in all there in fairly good shape except the two we already knew about! I had some treatment in my home town but because i am allergic to latex the dentist didnt wear gloves and i think this has led to reoccuring abcess's in two of my teeth-my crown at the front and one of my molars at the back-at least this is the general feeling! He poked the sore tooth at the back and i nearly hit the roof. His conclusion was i needed to be referred onto a more senior dentist at the hospital, due to me needing to be first on the list and preferably first thing on a monday morning too so that any allegens are at their lowest, i also need steroid cover when i have any treatment done which requires venous access which is something that i have struggled with the last few admissions! All in all i was told it would take a few weeks to sort it all out!

I got home from my appointment and baked a cake for my neighbour (sorry no pictures yet-couldnt work that bit of technology out!:-)) i also made some alcoholic truffles for her and then took everything round at about 6pm!!

By about midnight my tooth was starting to hurt a little bit so i took some paracetamol before i went to sleep. On Friday morning when i woke up my tooth was agony and my face was swollen all on the side my sore tooth was on-all the tell tail signs of an abcess - again! I popped to my local dentist to get a script for some antibiotics-they wouldnt do it and said id need to see someone and they couldnt fit me in! I tried the doctors surgery no joy there either so i called the dental hospital-got an appointment for tuesday (today)!

I do have a course of antibiotics at home that are to start if i get poorly whilst im waiting for a doctors appointment. I started these hoping that the abcess would be sensitive to them. I had a rather rough weekend and couldnt eat anything as my tooth was so painful. I spent most of the weekend dosed up on painkillers! On bank holiday monday it was feeling a bit better but was still very sore. I went to the dentist today. I dont know what i expected him to do really given the discussion we had on thursday but i guess i just wanted him to dress the filling do something to stop it hurting! This didnt happen he didnt even look at my tooth. He just said i was a complex case and it wasnt as straight forwards as normal. He did give me some more antibiotics to take for another 5 days- i really really hope they work as im not sure i could cope with this toothache for too much longer-its quite draining!

I had a few drinks with my neighbour and her friend outside our houses this evening-we were waiting for the ice cream man for the kid's :-) its always good having a catch up with people!!

Anyways i just thought id keep you posted on whats happening! Tribunal wise i havent had any news yet so its still in the tribunal's hands-it apparently can take upto 28 days to make a decision! I'll let you all know when i hear anything! :-)

Hope everyone else is well and getting on ok! Im going to have an early night i think it was an early start today! :-)

Speak soon.
Lotsa lv Rattles Xxxx

New laptop!!!

Hi All,

I bought a new laptop and dongle deal on Thursday. Tried stting it up on Friday without too much success... I was struck down by an evil dental abscess on thursday evening so I am only now approaching the other side, its still very painful but I have a dentist appointment on tuesday to get it sorted!!

I thought i would log onto my new computer and have a little play for a while!! I am rather pleased with it at the moment -haven't a clue how it works i just know it does all work lol!!!

Anyway, i will post more early in the week once i have got to grips with all this technology!! ;-)

Speak soon, lotsa lv Rattles Xxxx

The wonderfully confusing world of technology!

Hi All,

I hope everyone is well. Im still very tired after my last admission and my chest is still very painful but i am lots better than i was so i cant complain too much!

The last few days have been rather stressful-sorting stuff out for my solicitor and being up against some tight deadlines and also not feeling too great in my self! On saturday i had to go to the library with the intention of printing off a document and signing it before faxing it across to the solicitor! This would have been my authorisation for her to proceed with sending off all the information to the tribunal! I got to the library and they were having problems with the computers so had no computer access for the day! That was hurdle one! I had to sort out with my solicitor to send a detailed email to her stating clearly i agreed with everything she had put in the forms and wanted her to proceed without the relevent signed stuff from me. I got home and my computer was not working very well constantly crashing on me! This was hurdle two! Thankfully my mobile works fairly well with the internet so i managed to send emails etc through my mobile to her-ive been using my mobile to blog and alsorts recently it really is an amazing phone! :-)

So saturday, id emailed the solicitor and promised i would fax stuff to her and post stuff to her at the beginning of the week.

I watched eurovision on saturday (i really am that sad-sorry people! :-)) we came 5th which was totally amazing-the best we have done in about a decade i think! So well done UK! :-)

Sunday i wasnt feeling brilliant i had a raging temperature and my chest was really sore-think maybe i did too much in the first few days i was out of hospital maybe! I couldnt sleep either as the pain in my chest was so bad it was difficult to breath etc. The pain continued to affect me on monday and by the evening on monday i was rather teary and very tired!

The last few days have been a little up and down really i havent actually managed to sort any paperwork out (hard copy wise) for my solicitor as i just havent felt well enough. I am however thankfully feeling a lot lot better today and have actually ventured out of my house for an appointment! I am just waiting in the waiting room now as i arrived really really early :-) after this i am going to head to tesco and get some bits and pieces before going home and settling down for the night with the cat-who is thankfully much better now! :-)

Im going to bake a cake for my neighbour tomorrow as she had her birthday on monday-it sounded like a horendous day-it was her aunts funeral and she had a really hard day. I told her i would make her a chocolate cake and some alcoholic truffles for her birthday and that we would celebrate it on thursday - so we'll be having a little celebration for her tomorrow! :-)

Anyways im going to have to go as i'll be called in for my appointment very soon so best make sure im not typing away on the mobile :-)

Hope everyone else is doing ok and will post again soon.

Lotsa lv Rattles Xxxx

Mad deadlines and inconvenient illnesses.

Hi All
Again im really sorry ive not posted for a while-again! I last posted after the appeal hearing decision was unsuccessful. I contacted the disability rights commission who referred me across to a legal aid solicitor who chatted to me over the phone for a while before stating she'd take on the case. I was delighted. It was last wednesday!

Last thursday i spent all day at remploy faxing paperwork across to her and had arranged to fax more stuff across on friday. Unfortunatly, i think i may have over excerted myself doing paperwork for the solicitor aswell as the decorating binge as my chest was tight and wheezy all evening! I called the on call doctor and went down for a consultation. Id had a lot of nebs already so they admitted me to the MAU i got to A+E and a nurse checked my sats which were rather low. I was wheeled to MAU by the nurse who usually sees me in resus and as she handed over to staff she told them i have a tendency to get very poorly very quickly!! The doctor came to see me, and told me i was gonna have iv steroids magnesium and aminophyline (once they'd got my level back!) she tried to canulate me 9 times-no success. The mad attempts began at 10pm on thurs evening! At 2am the registrar was called to try after another 2 docs had failed to get anywhere! He came in and saw that i was getting really worn out so called the anaethetist whilst he was trying to canulate me. He got two ultra sound machine thingymebobs to try and see where my veins were! One doc was on one arm another on another with the ultrasound scanner thingys and i had another two doctors with a needle in hand to attempt to get some venous access. At 4am i still had no access and the anaethetist wanted me transferred to hdu for a femoral line or central line putting in as they were not allowed to do this on the MAU! I just wanted to feel better as i was really tired. Finally the reg decided to try one more time in a tiny vein on the side of my arm with a paediatric needle. They had success finally. Steroids in. Magnesium in and bloods taken for urgent aminophyline level. I was on high flow oxygen with nebs through it and saturating at only 78-82%. By this time it was 5am. The anaethetist had got a bed for me but we were literally just waiting for the bed to become available. I was being prodded by the nurse as i was loosing consciousness every so often! The doctors and anaethetist, nurse and two support workers all accompanied me to the hdu - it was all a wee bit intense!! Got there but was totally incapable of anything-and they needed to lift me onto the bed etc and get me into a gown. They struggled for ages trying to get some better access and an arterial line in place and set me up on bipap!

The mask drove me crazy!! It was so tight and uncomfortable! Everytime i wanted a break from it they let me for all of about 5 minutes before restarting it when my sats plummetted again! I did manage an hour or so at one point-which coincided with a very unexpected and really appreciated visit from a very dear friend! It was so lovely and such a surprise! I got a balloon (non latex of course :-)) and also some lovely prezzies including a tatty ted keyring cup and teddy and a beautiful picture frame! :-)

Gemma is an absolute star and i dont know what id've done without a small bit of company so it was great it was a shame our first ever meeting was at my local hospital!! I missed our chats when i was in the hospital though as it was rather unexpected so i didnt have my charger for my phone so i was batteryless!!

After 5 days on hdu most of it on bipap or cpap i was taken to the respiratory ward. I was ok just tired and wheezy when i got down there! I gradually felt a bit worse over the evening and found myself back on icu/hdu watch over night with the nurse doing half hourly observations on me and prodding me to take a few deep breaths of high flow oxygen to try and get my sats up-i just felt tired and yucky. I was given more steroids and the aminophyline was turned up a wee bit. It did settle with that plus a lot of extra nebulisers! I slept most of wednesday feeling rather sorry for myself and hoping i could get myself out by the next day-i needed to send the bits and bobs to my solicitor or i would miss my deadline for my tribunal case!

I had a really rough night and did manage to stop the oxygen but my sats were not great and i didnt feel too great either but i did the whole im fine please just let me go spiel for the doc. Thankfully he let me go on the provision id phone the ward if i was poorly again and return within 48 hours if i wasnt right-i told him i would just be very stressed out by not getting the tribunal stuff sorted if i didnt get out on time. :-(

On thursday i rushed to remploy in the afternoon to get things all sent off and finalised. All done!! :-)

Soooo, today! Today my cat HAD and i really mean had to go to the vets. He had been injured whilst i was in hospital. It seriously looked like he had been shot with a pellet gun!! The vet saw him and gave him some antibiotics and some painkillers! He is ok just not himself at all, and very quiet! He has been sleeping all day as he clearly still isnt very well!!

I hope everyone is ok and staying well. Im off to play nursemaid to my poorly kitty now and catch some zzzz's as im still really hospital jetlagged got to go to library to do final few bits for solicitor tomorrow as its d-day so will post again soon and keep everyone posted!!

Speak soon everyone
Lotsa lv Rattles Xxxx

appeal hearing

Hi all,

Sorry i've not posted for a while i was rather preoccupied with my appeal hearing! It was the 23rd of april! I was told before the meeting itself that my trade union representative was not going to take things any further once that meeting was over! So i felt as though it was last chance saloon before i even started.

The room was layed out like a court room! A panel of four were up front-with two little desks in front one for the management side and one for me and my trade union rep! We got to say our bit first. I started and rambled the first bit as i was so nervous. As p spoke i realised id missed out loads so filled in a few blanks. We called our witness and dropped a bombshell on the panel and management side! Then we had a short break. The management then put their case forward-the three of them! The panel asked questions we asked questions and cross examined them. Then we had another break to get our summing up speach ready! The management spoke first to give my union rep and i the last word.

P felt it had gone well and felt it could go in my favor! Unfortunatly i didnt feel as optimisic as i had dealt with the trust many times before and management always side with management!

I was told it would be 7 days till i got my result!!

So the wait began!

I then had a day of appointments and things before starting some decorating over the weekend! The decorating didnt go very well and ended up with me sacking my cleaner/decorator after she spoke to me in a very harsh way and actually scared me in my own home and stole from me-it was returned but that was all a bit too late the trust had gone!

On tuesday i had to see my doc as i had really hurt my back over the weekend decorating. Turns out i have siatica-its very very painful even now- still!!

Ive had a fairly lazy few days resting and sorting some paperwork out the last few days and received the trusts decision on thursday. Unfortunatly it didnt go in my favor so the next step is to persue a tribunal with the disability rights commission. Got lots to sort out over the next two weeks or so!!

I went out to my friends house for tea on thursday and had a lovely evening so that made up for the bad news id had in the morning!

I slept all day friday as my back had been very sore and i think the strong painkillers had finally kicked in but knocked me out in the process! :-)

Im going to spend the bank holiday cleaning and tidying i think as im currently applying for direct payments for help paying for a carer. This should help a lot but im currently too ashamed to let anyone into my house its so messy it desperatly needs a bit of a tidy up so that its slightly more presentable to the folks coming round to assess me and my needs.

Anyways i will post again soon hope everyone is well. Take care all.
Lotsa lv
Rattles Xxxx