I got an award Yay!!! :-)

Hi All.

Thank you Joey for this award. It translates as 'This blog invests and believes in the PROXIMITY-nearness in space, time and relationships.' Joey's blog is not only honest and informative - it also shows how just because you have a life limiting/life threatening illness your life doesn't just stop. You don't have to sit and waste away in front of the TV - you can take control, fight back against all the odds and LIVE!!! Please click here to see Joey's blog - Living with BA.

Though I am still relatively new to this blogging malarkey I have gained some very important and fabulous friends through my writing. It can be hard at times knowing that anyone could read your blog and comment on it and there is always the thought that people could be very negative against things you do post. I have always tried to approach my writing with total honesty and written about things that happen as and when they do - through this people have been very kind and throughout the last eleven months or so of blogging several people have kept me going. Through the good times and the really bad times - leaving messages of encouragement and support and also get well soon messages when I have been really poorly in hospital. My blog is my space to vent and purge all the stuff that's going on - to share my thoughts and feelings with those who read and also to try and inform other people with brittle asthma (if they do read it) that just because you have this diagnosis doesn't mean that you cant do anything and your life is over - it just means that you may have to change your dreams or goals, but most importantly you can still do things - have a social life and have relationships and work (albeit maybe not full time etc ), You may have to take things slower than others or rest more than others - but you can still live!!!

The people I have chosen to give this award to are very special to me, they are either people who have become great friends that I have spoken to over the phone (joey) or people who have become great friends in person (KSD, Wheezy tux) or people that i have never met but i have a connection with via the blogging network - these friends are no less important to me - just because there may be oceans between us doesn't mean their friendships are less important to me. (Odette - you are fab - you show me support when i am feeling rubbish and give me so much encouragement, i value your friendship as much as the friendships I have with my friends from school and college who i still meet up with regularly - I only wish that you were closer so that we could meet in person!)

So ........ After that long waffle I would like to give this award to several people who are both important and valuable to me, these are: -

Joey - from living with BA (I know you already have this award - but i felt i needed to say that i value your brutal honesty and informative posts - please don't take to heart hurtful comments from anonymous posters - they do not know you as a person etc - keep posting :-) we all love you!!

Odette from A view from above - you have shown me such friendship over the last 11 months i have been writing my blog. You show me that it doesn't matter how far away someone is they can still be great friends and I love reading your blog as its honest and gritty - dealing with sooooo many different issues. I love the informative nature as well as the more personal aspects of it. Keep it up hon. :-)

Wheezy tux - You are a real friend - I love our chats and our random giggles at 'the vest' lol!!! Your blog is inspiring. You have faced difficulties but you have got through every little thing that life with Brittle asthma throws at you with courage and determination. I know that your main dream was to be more actively involved with sports and i understand what it is like when your dreams are crushed, you handled this with such courage and even though life beat you down you rose up against it and ploughed yourself into another uni course to realise a new dream. You will make a fantastic nurse and i am confident that you will battle against everything that opposes you from realising this dream. I wish you all the love and success i can and i know you can do it hon - YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

Jess - from She's not contagious ...... really. I find it both heart breaking and heart warming reading your blog. Your family have faced so many hurdles and difficulties yet you face each thing with sheer bravery and determination. I find it inspiring and heart warming to read about your beautiful family and in particular your beautiful little girl Alana. She is the bravest little girl i know. I love hearing about the good times, and although it is often heartbreaking to read about those difficult times - i feel privileged that you have let me in some way be a part of your private family struggles. I pray for you all and I hope that they soon reach a diagnosis for your beautiful little angel. You truly are a very inspiring and brave lady and really do deserve this award. Gos bless you!!! :-)

KSD - from Stuck at the wrong end of the stethoscope. - KSD - you too are a fab mate. I appreciated all the visits and phone calls when I was in the hospital. You were great - and even when you were poorly you still stayed - i will never forget that. I am so sorry that you are having such a rubbish time at the moment and i promise as soon as all the dramas of court are over i will visit you more frequently. Your blog is also inspirational and honest, It also shows that no matter what life throws at you - it is possible to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and carry on. You will get back to medicine again i believe in you hon, you just need to get yourself right and keep plodding on. I know that you too try and do as much as you can and live life to the fullest and its that that i find so great. A lot of people who i had met before you just accept they cant do anything and don't try - sitting in front of the TV and doing nothing with their lives. I met you, Roxy and wheezy tux and realise that this didn't need to be the way. Just because you have this rubbish illness doesn't mean that on the OK and good days you cant get out there and do stuff. Thank you for being such a fab friend.

Louise - from - write from the heart - You have been fabulous I am so grateful for my blog makeover. I think you are a great person in what you do by providing blog makeovers for people who write about living with long term chronic or life limiting conditions and those who write post bereavement - you do this all for free and are such a generous person dedicating your time and energy to people in this situation and giving them a unique blog that portrays their individuality and personalities. You are a great friend and I think that there are not enough people in this world like you. You are truly selfless in your actions and as i said above you are so dedicated in giving people a unique space to express themselves. I will always be grateful to you for giving me this great unique space that does depict my personality and my quirks :) You deserve so much more than this award - but it is a little gift from me to you to try and show you my love and appreciation for everything that you have done for me and others in the same or similar position to me. Xxx

These people have inspired me and help me continue to be positive and upbeat even in the bad times. I am a better person for having you guys in my life - thank you!!! :-)




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Onto other bits and bobs......
Its my tribunal case next Monday through to Wednesday. I was feeling fairly confident though slightly nervous till yesterday. My solicitor informed me that because i was going through legal aid - they do not provide me with a solicitor or back up in court. Soooooo, basically this means that i have to represent myself. This is because legal aid will not provide you with help in employment tribunal cases. This would not normally be a problem, however, as most of you who have been following for a while will know - my manager bullied me for almost 5 years. I will now have to present my case in front of the tribunal and answer questions from a cross examination from my manager - he will be backed up by solicitors and barristers so as you would think i am feeling like i am automatically at a disadvantage. The only positive in all this is that if i am representing myself then my ex-boss may be his normal bullying self in front of the court towards me and will show himself to be the bully that he was/is. Anyways i now have just 5 days to get a law degree lol!!! Phhheeefffff - anyone else think that's a bit of a headache lol!!


Soooooo - the next few days i am hitting the books trying to familiarise myself with what will ultimately take place next week. I hope for a positive outcome from this tribunal, i have already achieved something - i have inside info that my ex manager is distinctly rattled so i guess that's something- and even if i don't win this will have set the trust back a few quid so i suppose that may deter them from making the same mistake again and stop them treating someone else as badly as they did with me - at least this is my hope. As i have said in previous posts - it isn't about compensation or money etc - it has always been about the principle of what they did and how they did it. If all i get out of it all is an apology and a good reference i will be happy. Anyways please please - if you do pray it doesn't matter what religion or God you pray to - please say a few for me next week. It is going to be very tough facing the man who bullied me for almost 5 years and i pray that justice will prevail.


Thank you all for reading what has turned out to be a really mammoth post - i am sorry i have waffled. Will keep you posted on the tribunal and its outcome etc as and when things happen.

Lotsa lv to you all Rattles Xxxx